We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
