It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
