dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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