do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
