ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
