I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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