yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
People in love make me want to vomit
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
