At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
