break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
