it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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