Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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