I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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