we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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