Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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