finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
