bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She bit a glass in half.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
