i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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