she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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