I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
