You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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