Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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