Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
