i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize