I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
