The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
