Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is my gift to your gina
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
