my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
