HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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