at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
