also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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