Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
