dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
