he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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