Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
