I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
