After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
