i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
