i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize