Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
