Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oh god it's open bar.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
