Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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