Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
