I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
