next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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