Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
