If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
