have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i think my cat just said my name.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
