Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im holly from the hills drunk
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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