I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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