I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
