the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
