would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
