Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
