all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
