...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
