ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
