I look better un-naked...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My feet surprised me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
