Im at strip club and am horny
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
