So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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