Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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