So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize