Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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