I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
