I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
