And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
