She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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