drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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