we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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